


Savior

by BarnesnMrNoble



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Peter Parker Angst, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-13 05:53:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16886874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarnesnMrNoble/pseuds/BarnesnMrNoble
Summary: Missions always have the possibility to go south but when the lives of two Avengers are put on the line, the team will stop at nothing to save them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a multi-chapter fic. Lots of angst with the added pain of Peter being involved in it. This story does involve torture and torture to a kid. If that makes you uncomfortable or is not your cup of tea, please skip this story.

It was a sickly feeling walking through the hallways of HYDRA’s labyrinth. She had spent her fair share of missions walking through the compounds they occupied. Each was similar to the last but each had it’s own unique quirks and pathways. 

It felt like there was a weight pressing down on her shoulders each time she crossed a threshold. She knew what they did, what they were capable of doing, their lack of morals regarding human lives. Every step down the narrow hallway, brought memories of stories Bucky had told, memories of the nightmares she had stopped and held him until he could breathe again. 

This time she had even more weight pressed upon her shoulders. 

A bigger mission, called for high stakes. Anything could go wrong. It twisted her stomach into knots knowing that behind her, instead of her usual 100 year old partner, was the 17 year old spider-kid, but they had needed all hands on deck for this particular mission. Always hyper vigilant during missions, she felt like she was on overdrive. 

They were close, the two, she was like Peter’s big sister. They’d spend their Saturday’s watching tv, or playing video games -- all of which she sucked at, even Mario kart. Rainbow road kicked her ass so hard.-- on occasion they’d spend an hour trying to catch the centenarians up on pop culture. It was fruitless venture, they never remembered anything they had talked about the next day. And trying to teach them about phones? It always ended with a smashed phone and an angry Tony. 

She led, her gun drawn and scanning every corner of the facility. Peter stayed close behind her, a rule he was not about to break after (y/n) had threatened to punish him severely. He remembered her saying something along the lines of “Tanning his hide.” He wasn’t sure what it meant but he wasn’t about to take the chance of finding out. She’d also made sure to tell him that if she said to do something to do it, no questions asked. That included if something happened to her and she told him to leave. In that case, she instructed that he turn and run for the nearest exit and get someone from the team. Under no circumstances was he allowed to stay. 

The hallway turned a corner into an even longer hallway, one with maybe 10 or 12 rooms they needed to clear. She took a small step forward and looked into the window of the first room. It was empty of people, but had a large metal filing cabinet in the corner. Her orders from Steve had been to clear any rooms in the east wing of the building, search for hostages and gather any files or information they could. She switched her gun to her dominant hand, holding it high and slowly entered the room. Peter stayed hidden on the wall behind her and stayed until she gave the all clear. He entered the room on silent feet, and began to help her go through the large amounts of information. 

In the distance, she heard the scuffle of shoes against the cement floor. It sounded as if it came from the doorway of the room they were currently in, a thought that sent her heart racing. She whipped to the source of the sound to find nothing but an empty door with the lights above flickering in and out. It looked like something straight out of a horror movie, the lights flickering, the sounds that sounded close but were practically non-existent. It felt off, strange, like she was missing something clearly obvious. 

Her hand instinctively reached to her comm, hoping to get information from the rest of the team. She fiddled with the small buttons until she turned on the comm to the open line between everyone. She huffed when all she heard was static. Maybe she had the wrong channel. She fiddled with it more changing settings, and every time she was only met with the static. Damn thing wasn’t working.  
In her fuss to figure out the issue with the comm she had missed what was transpiring behind her.   
Her back was turned to the door, something she knew she should have never done. A solid thump on the ground brought her attention back to the mission rather than the malfunctioning comm in her ear. 

Four armed men stood around her, circling her like she was their prey. She noticed all four men had their hands on their weapons but none had made the move to pull. She knew she was in deep shit. Four men that rivaled in size to Steve or Bucky? She could see her pathway out as the men the surrounded her clearly relied on brute strength rather than the much more effective tactics Natasha had been teaching her. 

Every thought of escape flew out the window when behind the four men, a fifth threw an unconscious Peter Parker over his shoulder. His mask was off revealing that he was a 17 year old kid, but that did little to slow down the man grabbing him. His forehead bled heavily, staining the front of his suit where it dripped from his chin. (y/n) made to scream for him, but was met with silence. Her throat was dry, her heart felt as if it had stopped beating. The feeling nearly crippled her. She lunged forward, a poor attempt to get away from the armed men. In her emotional haste, she had abandoned any rational thought. The largest of the men grabbed on to her upper arm in bruising, bone breaking grip. 

He had little care if she was hurt. He yanked her back to his side, and grabbed a small syringe from his pocket. A pinch at the base of her neck darkened the edges of her vision. She anticipated the darkness to overtake her, and uncertainty to grip at her heart as she hoped for Peter to be okay. She’d never forgive herself if he was hurt or killed because she was an idiot and stopped covering him. The darkness she had expected never came, she just... stopped feeling. 

Everything stopped in her body. Her limbs no longer moved to her command, instead hanging like limp noodles at her side. She watched as a bystander as her body crumbled to the floor, her legs no longer capable of holding her up. The man that had injected her, with whatever they had injected her with, grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked. His lips curled into a viscous smirk when her yelp of pain bounced of the barren concrete walls. He yanked again, this time pulling her to her feet long enough for two of them to wrap an arm underneath her own and drag her out of the room. 

She counted each light as they passed above her, it was the only thing keeping her from succumbing to the drugs now flowing in her system. They passed twenty eight lights, each one was more dim than the last. She had noticed that the farther they went the less windows could be seen, an indicator that she was headed to a bad place. Her feet dragged limply behind her and they dragged her around. She felt like a rag doll, pliant to their will. In the state of paralysis she was in, she couldn’t do much more than count the lights she passed. The drugs they had given her had not only stopped her motor skills, but put a heavy fog on her brain. The heavy fog pulled away any thoughts of Peter and what they would do to him, her brain only able to think in the basic processes of a young child. Her eyes were glazed over and she felt as if someone had stuffed cotton balls into her ears as every sound was muffled beyond comprehension.

In the distance, she could make out a harsh bang of a door being slammed open. Or shut, it was impossible to tell. She shifted her eyes from their current fixation on the ceiling, a action that took more effort than she had left in her, but what she saw had lifted the haze from her mind. All at once she regained her ability to move, think, hear, and comprehend. All it took was one look, to have her fighting against the hard grip of the two men restraining her. She was still weak, not making any headway on escaping. Her eyes settled to the far corner of the room, a strangled whisper making past her lips.   
“Peter..”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is less dramatic than the last chapter. No descriptions of torture.   
> Feedback is always appreciated!

“Report back to the jet in 5.” The hard tone of the Captain filled the ears of those still out in the field. 

He knew something was off, had since he had cleared the west wing. It was a gut feeling that something wasn’t right. It’s why he had called everyone back to the jet. He and Bucky had worked flawlessly clearing the building. They didn’t work together as often as they liked, Bucky was usually with (y/n), and Steve was typically partnered with Tony. But when they did work together, it was a well oiled machine, they worked as one person. If Steve went high, Bucky went low, they caught the ones that the other didn’t see. It was almost terrifying to watch, how fluidly they moved. A ballet of graceful moves, with a lethal end. 

Steve stood stoic at the edge of the jet’s ramp, a look that sent chills even through Bucky. At this point no one knew what was going to happen, some had their bets on someone doing something stupid and jeopardizing themselves or the mission. Clint was the first to board the jet, he was accompanied by Sam. Both were sporting gashes and scratches but would be fine. Wanda and Nat looked worn out, but unharmed. And Tony and Rhodey looked… well they didn’t look like anything. Not that Steve could tell with their face plates still down. They waited a few more moments for the last pair to make their way to the jet. 

He repeated his command into the comm, keeping his voice hard, and captain like. His stomach sank as neither part of the pair responded over the comms, and had shown no sign of being on their way to the jet. He took in a deep breath, held it for a beat, and slowly let it out.   
“Steve?” Wanda ventured carefully over toward him and placed a hand on his back. He visibly tensed at the gesture. Not for who it was but more for what he knew was coming. He knew the team had seen him tense, they knew something was wrong. “I have this feeling… I don’t know what it is, but its bad. It’s just..” He struggled to find the words, eventually after some struggled they practically fell out of his mouth. “It’s lingering over me. And now (y/n) and Peter are not responding.” 

He wouldn’t admit how much, but he truly enjoyed the young spider kid. He was a breath of fresh air to the team. He hadn’t noticed until Peter came along that there was an air around everyone, a lingering tension. They worked well as a team, and everyone considered each other family but it was just tense. Like everyone had to be serious all the damn time. When Peter came into their lives, it melted away. And they could have fun, and joke around. It made the avenging a lot easier to do everyday.

(Y/n) was truly a little sister to him. He was very open about it. He would do just about anything for her, and that included his insane big brother complex. He was often protective of her, scaring the shit out of any date that came by, especially the not so great ones. They had a great relationship, (Y/n) was often the one he went to when he was struggling to get through the day, or had had a long night plagued with nightmares. They were close, and it made it hurt so much more to think that something had happened to them.

“Steve.” Tony called out again, hoping to pull Steve out of his thoughts. His shoulders rose as he sucked in another breath, and turned his head over his shoulder. “If they are in trouble, we need to get them out. What’s your plan?”

His shoulders slumped and his whole body seemed to deflate. “I don’t know.”

A strangled silence lingered in the air as everyone racked their brains of the best way to find the two missing avengers. The silence stretched over what felt like years of time. Precious time that as each moment passed, the sickening feeling in their stomachs and hearts became overbearing. 

“We need to do something.” Bucky growled. “I’m not just going to sit here.” He stood abruptly and walked out of the jet without so much as another word. He knew what hydra was capable of, he had been on the receiving end for so many years. He wouldn’t wish for what had happened to him to ever happen to anyone else, let alone to two people he considered very important to him. He knew (y/n) would never forgive herself if something happened to Peter. She was already hesitant about Peter joining them on this mission. 

He removed the holstered gun on his left hip, his favorite and his lucky charm. His face was set, an unnerving expression that was eerily similar to the one Steve had seen when he fought Bucky on the bridge. As soon as Steve saw the look, he knew nothing would stop Bucky from going in guns blazing. He grabbed a rifle from Bucky’s weapons cabinet and took after him. The remaining team quickly followed, nerves flowed through each of them, not knowing what they would find. 

He took slow and calculating steps, his footfalls against the dirty cement floors were barely audible. Steve followed close behind, his gun covering Bucky. He had little care for his own wellbeing at this point, and Steve knew as much. He covered the places Bucky didn’t bother to check, his one track mind set on finding (y/n) and Peter. His heart picked up when the reached the first door on the long hallway, the door wide open, and files from the file cabinet strewn about the table. They had been in here, but nothing seemed to show that there had been even a struggle. The thought that they had caught them off guard, and they didn’t have time to struggle against their captors it practically stopped Bucky’s beating heart. 

Behind him, Steve sucked in a sharp breath the realization washing over him. His fear that they had been captured was proving itself to be true with each passing moment. They pulled out of the first room and began the walk down the hallway. Their confusion amplified when no other rooms seemed to have been cleared by the missing pair. The two super soldiers didn’t know it was possible, but their hearts beat faster, their breath picked up and their hearts sank even lower. 

A muffled scream sounded from a room far from where they currently stood. The hairs on the backs of their necks stood on end, and they immediately broke into a dead sprint. Their feet pounded heavily against the cold floors. They gave up on trying to be stealthy or covert, they needed to get their team back. They reached the end of the hallway unsure of which way to go but when another scream tore through the air, they turned in it’s direction and began to run again. 

They came upon the solid metal door that had been the source of someone screaming. They knew. They knew and it forced so many emotions on them, all at once. Gone was the unnerving looks of the winter soldier and the pissed off Captain America. Now they were just looks of sorrow, and pain. Bucky gripped the gun in his hands so tight that his knuckles had gone completely white, and he reluctantly removed one hand to wipe away the tear that trailed down his cheek.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has descriptions of torture throughout its entirety. If that makes you uncomfortable, please skip this story.

Her eyes settled to the far corner of the room, a strangled whisper making past her lips. “Peter..”

Her heart stopped and her chest constricted painfully. Peter sat in the far corner of the room they had taken her to. His hands were chained behind him and to the wall, and his legs were curled up into his body as he tried to shield himself from the horror. He heard her faint whisper as it barely made it across the room, and he looked to her with a look of pure unadulterated fear in his eyes. 

The pairs of hands that had been dragging her around unceremoniously threw her onto the ground, She hit the floor with a thud, pain from her knees and elbows shot through her from the impact. She turned to look back at the men that threw her, her eyes meeting the eyes of several hydra scientists. When she noticed what she was sitting next to, she had to use everything in her not to lose to contents of her stomach. 

Beside her was the reason Bucky had his nightmares. The reason why he struggled to remember his past life, why he spent more nights beating a punching bag until he was so physically exhausted that he passed out, than sleeping in his bed. The machine crackled with the electricity flowing through it, and sparks came off the the panels attached to what she assumed was the piece for the person’s head.

Short, bated breaths sounded from behind her and she whipped around to Peter still curled into himself. A large purple bruise showed itself on his cheek, and (y/n) felt a primal instinct in her take over. It was the straw that broke the camel's back, and she snapped. She stood quickly and lunged at the nearest scientist. Her hands latched onto his neck and she gave a quick turn easily snapping his neck with a satisfying crack. He slumped to the ground, and she turned to the next one ready to off him as well. Just as she lunged, she felt a strong grip yank her back and another small pinch at the base of her neck. 

Slowly she lost her ability to keep herself standing. It was the same stuff as before, and she slumped to the ground just like the scientist before. Sounds again became muffled but she could hear a drowned out scream from Peter. She slowly turned her head, using every bit of effort she had left, to see him thrashing against his restraints, tears flowing down his cheeks in earnest. It hurt her in every way possible to see how pained he was, and she knew what was about to happen. It broke her heart to know he had to watch it, she didn’t care about what was about to happen to her. 

She couldn’t fight it, they made sure of that by injecting with whatever concoction they mixed together. One of the big men standing in corner moved over to her and picked her up, forcefully slamming her into the chair. She felt the cold buckles of the arm and leg restraints, but she didn’t quite register them as such. One of the scientists approached her carefully, holding the mouth guard in between his fingers. Another scientist said something to him that (y/n) couldn’t hear but it seemed to reassure him and give him he confidence to roughly shove the mouth guard into her mouth. She could hear the muffled cries of Peter, most likely still thrashing against the chains. 

All she wanted to do was a reassure him that everything would be okay as long as they didn’t hurt him. She tried to speak, to tell them they could hurt her all they wanted but they didn’t need to lay a hand on him, but she couldn’t make the sound, it just got stuck in her throat and she just let out a strangled gasp as the headpiece of the machine came down over her face and eyes. They flicked a switch, and any protests she attempted to make were stolen from her as her body arched and writhed in pain from the amount of electricity that now flowed through her. 

She couldn’t do anything to stop it, and she let out a blood curdling scream. It felt like she was being torn in half, searing heat whipped through her veins and seized any coherent thought. SHe could see the brightness push through her brain, and she felt all of her memories pulled away from her grasp. SHe fought hard against it, tugging back her memories. She finally used everything piece of strength she had and pulled them back to her. As she did, the pain slowed until it was gone. The machine turned off, but its affects still lingered, she didn’t know if she could do it again. Her body collapsed back onto the chair and relaxed back into its previous state of paralysis. 

Nobody said a word after, if they did there was no way she would’ve heard it, her ears rung so loud she was sure it was audible for everyone in the room. A nod was exchanged between two scientists and one made his way back to the switch and without hesitating flipped back on. Like her body was pulled by a magnet, her back arched and she let out another bone chilling scream. She could feel the heat of the electricity making its way back to her brain. It was almost as if it had a mind of its own, it moved through her until it pulled her most cherished memories to the front, she fought against it but with each passing second she lost more and more strength.

She watched in horror as memories were torn from her with no mercy. The first to go was the day she’d become an avenger. She had walked out of the elevator at the tower to all eyes on her, she gave a small wave and immediately everyone rushed over to ask her questions and introduce themselves. She had known right then and there these people would be her family. Steve tried to be the gentleman and introduce himself but was quickly pushed out of the way by Sam, who was just dying to know what her abilities were. Eventually all the excitement had died down and Steve and Bucky offered to show her to her room, one that was in between their own. 

The second to go was first time she had ever beaten Steve in a sparring session. She had been practicing for months, constantly studying his fight patterns, doing extra training with Nat to learn her best moves. She had been so excited and as sad as he was that he’d been defeated, Steve offered to cook her dinner to celebrate. It was his ma’s recipe for spaghetti. The first bite she’d had, she nearly let out a very inappropriate moan. Since then Steve had promised to make it for her for special occasions, like her birthday or if she ever beat Bucky in a sparring match. 

She fought so hard to keep the memory of the first time she had realized that Peter was Spider-man. She had almost walked into a busy street so lost in her thoughts, and had almost been hit by a car, when Peter had swooped down and picked her up. Her dropped her off on top of a building and said that she needed to be more safe. Her eyes grew wide as she recognized the voice and The eyes on the mask went wide as well, Peter realizing he’d screwed up. He should’ve known that she’d recognize his voice, they only spent hours upon hours together. “Peter? Is that you?” She questioned running her hands down her jacket and pants to straighten them out. He left out a long breath and noticeably deflated before he answered. “Yeah it is…” He reaches behind his head and pulled of the mask. He expected her to be mad that he hadn’t told her but instead she told him that it was amazing, and that now somethings made a lot more sense. They both had a chuckle about the whole thing and dropped back down to the sidewalk and headed back towards the tower. 

Not all of the memories were the good memories, some were painful. The fourth memory she watched disappear from her was the first time she had stopped one of Bucky’s nightmares and subsequent panic attack. He’d held onto her so tightly she was sure she was going to suffocate but she didn’t care. She had only wanted him to know he was safe and that nothing bad was going to happen. She’d spent the rest of the night holding onto him as he slept. He never let go of her, though he did loosen his grip as he started to relax. 

Her fingers dug into her palm drawing blood as memory after memory was torn from her. Each one more painful than the last. It was a physical pain, each memory felt like they were ripping apart of her away, like someone was yanking on her limbs trying to pull them from her.   
\----  
Peter screamed for her as she continued to writhe from the pain. The scientists had muttered something about her being stronger than most and this time they needed to let the machine run longer. He tried to yell at them and tell they needed to stop but just received a backhand across his face, a bruise quickly forming on his cheek. He struggled to listen to her screams and know that there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. Through his tears, Peter prayed for this to be over, for someone to come bursting through the doors and save them, stopping their current hell. “Please, please stop this.” He whispered, his voice shaking with fear. 

They finally switched the machine off, and Peter watched her body sag back onto the chair. Her chest heaved as she tried to regain her breathing but it was clear she struggled. Each breath felt like there was a fire that licked at her lungs, combined with a heavy weight on her chest. The headpiece lifted from her face, and Peter gasped as he saw what it had done to her. Her nose bled heavily, her eyes were bloodshot and she had tears wetting her cheeks, below her right eye was a deep purple bruise from where the machine had been placed. She has a matching one below her eye and above her brow on her left side, the bruise even darker. Her hands were covered in blood from how hard she had been balling her hands into fists. One of the men rushed up to her to grab the mouth guard. He rolled his eyes and delivered a painful slap to her cheek just as he had done with Peter, when as he took it out, (y/n) turned and spit out the blood that had pooled in her mouth. 

Her hearing had come back after the last round, and she fought to keep the rising bile down when he muttered, “Let’s go another round. She clearly isn’t ready yet.” He walked back to his place behind the large console that held the switch for the machine, another scientist put the guard back into her mouth and smirked at her. Behind the console they flipped the switch once more and sent (y/n) howling out in pain. 

It felt like the air had been ripped from her lungs, it felt like someone sat on her chest and put a hand around her throat crushing her only way to breath. She gasped and yanked against the restraints, trying to get away from the pain but it just keep going on and on. In her struggle and failure to get away, she missed the banging of the door opening and every agent dropping with a single bullet to the head. There was no hesitation in the soldier’s choice to down every agent, he didn’t want to put up a fight with people who hurt those he cared about.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final Chapter! There is an epilogue following this chapter. Hope you all enjoy!  
> Feedback is always appreciated!

“It’s them.” 

Bucky listened to the screaming on the other side of the door, and it truly felt like someone had ripped his heart out of his chest, tore it in half, and stomped on it. He and Steve both took deep breaths in and slowly let it out. Once he had calmed his nerves a small bit, Bucky raised his leg and kicked the door in. He choked on his breath when it caught in his throat, and he froze. 

In all his years as the winter soldier, or in his years as an avenger, never once did he freeze. And now when he saw (y/n) strapped to the machine that still haunted him every night and Peter chained to the wall, he froze like Cap did when he went into the ice. Steve forced his way in front of Bucky and took down each agent where they stood, with a single bullet to the head. It wasn’t much his style, Captain America didn’t typically condone killing without hesitation. That was Bucky’s thing. This time he didn’t care, for god sakes, they took a 17 year old kid without second thought, Steve knew these weren’t the kind of people you put in jail, they were the ones that needed to be taken out, that needed to be stopped.

The main fight was out of the way but they needed to get both Peter and (y/n) out. Bucky had jumped into action when he saw every agent fall, finally regaining some sense. He ran to the console and desperately searched for the switch to turn off the machine. (y/n) screamed out as the pain continued, her body struggling to hold on any longer. She let a few more tears escape her eyes as another memory was torn from her mind. Her back arched impossibly higher as the searing pain flowed through her, scorching every will she had to keep fighting. 

Peter had buried his head into his knees and tried to block it all out. It was so much and he just wished it would stop. That everything would be okay and this was just a nightmare. A hand fell onto his shoulder and he flinched harshly away from what he’d assumed was another scientist. But something about this one felt different. It felt softer, had more care in its touch and where it was placed. Everything by the scientists had been mean, focused on hurting with brute strength, leaving marks and bruises. 

He still left his head buried into his knees and rocked back and forth trying to pull his mind away from it all. He forced himself to think about anything else, about the time Tony had made a big deal of his birthday, something nobody had done for years. Or the time he saved (y/n) from being hit by car and she figured out he was Spider-man. She’d been so happy for him. 

Happy.

It seemed like such an odd concept at this point, to be happy. Peter couldn’t help but let his mind wander to thoughts of his future. Would things ever feel normal again? Sure his wounds would heal, physically at least. But what about the mental and emotional scars he was now burdened with. Or the ones (y/n) had. He couldn’t help but wonder if he would ever put the suit on after this, if it would bring back too many memories. 

“Peter?” 

A soft touch pushed away the hair that stuck to his bloody forehead and Peter flinched again. He hadn’t stopped rocking. If anything he rocked back and forth more now, faster. As if it was going to help him get away. The voice said his name again, a little harder, more rigid. Peter’s head slowly lifted, afraid to meet the gaze of whoever was in front of him. What if this was all a ruse? To get him up only to smack him down again. He had no way of defending himself, not with his hands still chained behind him and to the wall. 

When he finally did look at the person who was crouched in front of him, he let a fresh wave of tears cascade down his cheeks. He let out a breath he’d been holding in fear of what he’d find, and relief flooded him seeing Steve patiently trying to pull him back to reality. His hand rested on Peter’s shoulder and his thumb moved in small swipes, an attempt to defuse Peter’s fear. He had a soft smile on his lips, his eyes held fear and apprehension but he tried to hide it and keep them as soft as he could. 

“Peter? Are you okay kid?” 

Peter stared at him with wide eyes, not quite registering what he said. Steve said something else to him, he wasn’t sure what but he reached behind him and unclicked the cuffs that tethered him to the wall. His hands fell to the ground and he struggled to gain the strength to move them after having them chained behind him so long. Steve carefully reached for his arms and gently pulled him to his feet. As soon as Peter stood, he threw himself into Steve and sobbed into his chest. He was still weak and struggled to hold his own weight so Steve supported a majority of his weight. He threw his arm arounds Peter’s back and began walking out the way he came. 

His eyes were drawn Bucky who was clearly a mess trying to help (y/n). His fear was clearly written on his face and he still had tears streaming down his cheeks. He hated leaving him behind to do it by himself but he needed to get Peter away from all of this.   
____

Bucky watched as (y/n) arched her back impossibly high off the chair as she struggled to fight against the machine. He stood in front of the console and struggled to find the right switch to stop her pain. Seconds passed as he desperately tried to turn off the machine but it truly felt like hours had gone by as (y/n) continued to howl in pain. Eventually Bucky gave up on trying to find the switch and raised his gun to the console and shot three shots. He breathed in relief when the machine turned off and (y/n)’s body sagged back onto the chair. 

 

The headpiece slowly lifted from her face and he sucked in a breath at seeing the blood that ran down from several gashes on her face and from her hands. She had bruises of a deep purple around her eyes and along her jaw where she’d been slapped or punched. Bucky appeared in her line of vision but she only stared back at him blankly. It was a punch to his chest to see her unable to focus, her eyes darting back and forth across him.

Bucky and her, like Steve, were close. Other than Steve she was his best friend, the person he talked to when life got to be too much, when he had days where he just wanted to stay in his room and lock himself away. She was always there to pull him away from the darkness. Because even on the darkest of days she managed to make him smile and forget the pain even for just a minute. He wouldn’t be the same without her. He knew how hard it could be to come back from this, he was damned if he wouldn’t do what she had done for him. 

He gently undid the restraints on her legs and wrists. He reached for her face, a soft hand caressed her cheek but she quickly pulled away as she came back to reality. He knew he wouldn’t have been able to hide the hurt that crossed his face as she did, not even if there was a gun pointed to his head. He slowly tried again softly saying her name. She still flinched away but Bucky wrapped his hands behind her head and held her still. 

“Hey. Hey. It’s me. You’re safe okay?” 

She continued to stare at him, this time with a small amount of recognition. Afew new tears trailed down her cheeks and he carefully wiped them away, trying to avoid her cuts and bruises. She leaned into his touch and winced with the movement sent pain through her. 

The scientists had been anything but gentle with her, throwing her around, getting a few swings in when they needed a punching bag. One scientist, a young and curious newbie, brought a scalpel from the tray of tools near the chair. He mentioned something about testing pain tolerance and took the scalpel down her side, making a cut from the bottom of her ribs to the top of her hip bones. It wasn’t deep enough to do any major damage, but it still hurt like a bitch. So when she leaned to the side into the soft touch of Bucky’s hand on her face, it opened a few spots on the gash. 

He kept speaking to her in the soft, hushed tones until the glaze over her eyes started to wash away and recognition flashed over her. A raspy whisper was all she could manage. 

“Bucky?” 

There was a smile of relief on Bucky’s face as she spoke his name. He leaned down to kiss her forehead and continued reassuring her that it was him and that she really was safe, that it was all over. Bucky moved his hands back onto her arms, letting her know every step of the way what he was doing. She numbly nodded to him when he told her he was going to carry out. He reached a hand behind her knee and one behind her back and scooped her into his arms. She winced again at the pain in her side but it quickly subsided and she pressed her face into Bucky’s chest. 

“It’s okay. I got you.” 

He repeated the words to her the entire walk out of the building and kept his nose pressed against the crown of her head. Her body shook in his arms, partly from fear over the whole ordeal and partly from the sobs that tore through her. It wasn’t going to be an easy road back from this, he wouldn’t be surprised if neither (y/n) or Peter ever put their suits on again. (y/n) gripped a handful of Bucky’s shirt until her knuckles went ghostly white and her pale eyes stared at him. He could see the pain that surged through her, the war between being strong and accepting what had happened over the course of the last hour. 

Ahead of them, Steve and Peter boarded the jet. There were tears on everyone’s faces, some of relief and some of grief at what had happened to two of their teammates, to their family. Wanda sagged against Sam and he wrapped his arms around her as he wiped away his own tears. Tony looked out from between his hands, his eyes red and puffy. Rhodey sat next to him, patting him on the back. Nat and Clint stood abruptly upon seeing the four walk out and and the breaths they had been holding were released. 

Natasha, a person who was never overtly open about her emotions broke forward to Steve at a dead sprint. She skidded to a halt in front of Peter and gently grabbed his face between her hands. She stared at him for a moment, doing her best to hide the tears that threatened to fall. When she realized she’d failed, she muttered a “to hell with it.” and wrapped her arms around Peter and hugged him tightly. She pulled away and slowly wrapped his arm around her and helped Steve get him to bench so Bruce could check him out. 

Everyone else, amidst all of what was going on stood in shock over Nat’s uncharacteristic show of emotion. She typically saved that for when she was behind closed doors, she couldn’t afford to look weak. It went against everything she had been trained to do, and beyond that she couldn’t show any sign of weakness in front of gods and super soldiers. 

Bucky climbed the ramp with (y/n) still in his arms. She was now unconscious, every last bit of what had happened caught up to her and it had all been too much for her to handle. He laid her down on the bench in the middle of the jet, and he very nearly needed to pry her fingers from his shirt. Once he’d freed himself, he moved up to the top of the bed, near her head. Bucky pushed away the hair that fell into her face and whispered to her. He didn’t know if she could even hear a word he was saying but the words were as much for her as they were for him. 

“You are safe now. We got you.”

Steve moved to stand next to him. He’d left Peter with Wanda, and now she was working on trying to help him get some rest on the ride home. Steve could see pale red wisps of magic leave Wanda’s fingers. Peter’s eyes were closed his head resting on the stacked up blankets they could find. Wanda carefully took one from the stack beneath his head, unfolded it, and draped it across his body. She took her seat behind his head, gently carding her fingers through his hair, detangling it and brushing out the matted pieces. 

Steve gripped Bucky’s shoulder tightly. He’d been in a trance since he set (y/n) down onto the bench. He kept his forehead pressed against hers and whispered soft reassurances she most likely couldn’t hear. His tears mixed with the blood that was dried and some that was still fresh. Steve had tried multiple times to try and talk Bucky back to him, but he was so in his head that he hadn’t heard a word. He forced Bucky away from the middle bench and pulled him into a hug. 

As much as Steve tried to be strong and keep his Captain persona, this hurt him. It hurt him to his core, and he didn’t want to be strong anymore. He wanted to hold her hand and cry, to tell her he was sorry, that he would do anything and everything in his power to make her feel better. To make her feel safe again. 

For the first time in a long time, Steve let go. He let his body relax, he let his tears fall freely down his cheeks. His body shook against Bucky’s, and everyone stood watching. They knew what he felt, they felt it too. So when Steve finally pulled himself away from Bucky, his eyes red and puffy, Natasha wasted no time taking over and sitting Steve down. She held him, and told him that (y/n) and Peter would be okay, and they stayed that way until his tears finally slowed to a trickle and his breathing was even. 

Peter slept the entire way home, probably the only good sleep he would get in the coming days. Wanda had helped keep him asleep and free from the flashes of what had happened. When they landed, Tony made sure to carefully pick Peter up and take him into the med bay. He had been quite most of the way back. After Peter had fallen asleep Tony had moved to sit at his feet. He had kept his suit on in the jet, something he never did normally. Now he did it because it gave him a sense a control, he knew that if anything happened he could protect him with little to no time wasted. 

The doctors in the med bay had confirmed what bruce said. Physically Peter would make a full recovery, but they hesitated on saying whether or not he would be mentally okay in the future. This was hard enough on any normal person, but for someone whose brain was still developing, that was still impressionable? This would probably affect him for the rest of his life. With a slow nod Tony listened to the doctor, and for what felt like the thousandth time that day, his heart was shattered. The kid didn’t deserve this, no one did. He pulled up the chair from the corner of the room, and decided that as soon as Peter woke up, he would visit (y/n). He didn’t want Peter to wake up alone after everything that had happened. 

A few rooms over, (y/n) was rolled into the room. Bruce had said she had some more severe effects from the whole ordeal but like Peter, physically she would make a recovery, mentally was another question. Steve and Bucky watched as her chest rhythmically rose and fell, it was almost soothing. It was enough to distract them but it also let them know she was okay. She would wake up and they could still be around her. She was still here, they would still be able to hug her, and she could still live the rest of her life. It was almost an hour before the doctors had finished their tests and addressing the physical injuries. When they had let them know they could go sit with her, they wasted no time sitting on either side of her and holding her hands. 

They were cold and clammy and rested limply drowned in the hands of the super soldiers. Both soldiers had rested their heads on the bed and let exhaustion take over. Soft breathing and the constant beeping of the heart monitor were the only sounds in the room. Clint and Nat walked in and smiled. Both Steve and Bucky had practically adopted (y/n) as their sister and they were incredibly protective of her. Clint handed Nat one of the blankets they had brought and pointed in Bucky’s direction. They carefully laid the blankets over the two and paused when someone rustled the sheets on the bed. 

A skip in the heart monitor pulled their attention upwards. And almost if they were in sync with each other, both Bucky and Steve sat up. 

“She squeezed my hand.”

“Mine too.” 

They cooed her name, trying to coax her back to reality. Her eyelashes fluttered against her cheeks, and a single tear trailed down her cheek before she fully opened her eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I originally planned for this to be a bit lighter than it is. This scenario seemed to fit better with characters and my overall goal.   
> Feedback is always appreciated!

One. One two. One. One two.

The bag swung with the pounding fists, little mercy on it. There was a small tear in the bag, one that threatened to open and spill with the harshness of each hit. It was loud. Music blared over the speakers and beyond it, someone called her name. 

“(y/n). (y/n). (y/n)!” 

Steve called out to her. It’d be a miracle if she could hear him above the music. He could see the faint stains of blood on the bag from her cracked her knuckles. She didn’t have gloves on, nor did she bother to wrap her hands. She felt so much pain now, what was a little more? She hadn’t heard him at all. His steps were nearly quiet. It was the soldier in him that made him so stealthy. That and the loud music.

Once he got closer to her, he could clearly see the tears that tracked down her cheeks. She had been crying long enough for the tears to create a wet spot on her shirt where the tears dripping of her chin had pooled. He checked the clock on the wall. It was just past 4 in the morning and Steve sighed. She had been doing this more often now, and it hurt Steve. He knew this wasn’t going to be an easy recovery for her but seeing her do just what Bucky had done when he first moved into the compound hurt his heart. 

After she had woken up in the hospital, the team had been down to visit her, all except one. She had thrown herself into a panic attack when she was hit with the memories of what they had done to Peter. She begged through short breaths to see him, and only when she saw him through the door of her room, did her panic attack slow down until she could breathe again. She hugged him like it was the last thing she would do and Peter hugged her back with the same intensity. He moved to sit on her bed with her, but never once did her grip loosen. Not until she had let exhaustion settle in and had fallen asleep. 

It’d been hard ever since. She had nightmares almost every night, and every night she locked her door. Steve, Bucky, and Clint had all tried to get in to wake her up and take her away from her pain. And every night she refused, she said she deserved this pain. If she had just protected Peter none of this would’ve happened to him. He would be safe, and wouldn’t be spending his nights fighting his own demons. 

Demons he shouldn’t have. 

Eventually her screams from her nightmares were too much for the three of them and Clint had had enough. He went to the roof, and scaled down the side of the compound to her window. He carefully slid open the window and woke her from her pain. He held her until the tears stopped and went to unlock the door for Steve and Bucky to come in. They stayed the night with her, taking her to the couch and watching crappy movies until she fell back asleep on Clint’s lap. Steve and Bucky had taken the floor, Clint and (y/n) stayed on the couch. 

After that night, she left her doors unlocked. But each night the nightmares got worse. She struggled to get even an hour of sleep before she was screaming out, flashes of the memory wipe coming back to haunt her. Even if one of them came to chase away the memories, they still lingered over her. Pressing down on her until she felt like she couldn’t breathe. She could still see flashes of Peter, and how afraid he had been, his screams for it all stop. It came to a point where she would sneak away from whoever had come into her room that night and she would head down to the gym.

Steve reached around her and pulled her away from the bag. She fought against him thrashing and trying to escape his hold. He whispered to her and pulled her away until she sagged back against him. Her knees buckled and she shook against him. He could see the dark bags under her eyes, they were even darker than he had seen Tony’s. He could see the effects of her refusing to eat, she had lost a significant amount of weight since the incident and it was taking its toll. 

They sat for awhile, something they did often now. And when her tears finally calmed and her grip had loosened around him, he kissed her forehead and helped her stand. 

“Let’s get some food.” 

She tried to protest, to tell him she wasn’t hungry but he just retorted with asking how long it had been since she had actually eaten anything. She paused and said she didn’t remember the last time. He gave her a look, something similar to what a disappointed dad would give a teenager during a lecture. She bowed her head in response. Her steps were slow, anything more and she saw spots flash in her vision. Steve couldn’t believe he had even found her standing. She could barely stand on her own without almost passing out, how had she been punching a punching bag for god knows how long.

Everything she was doing to herself brought back so many memories of Bucky’s first weeks back after everything. Nightmares every night, refusing to sleep or eat, taking the blame for something that was out of their control. As much as he wanted to, Steve knew he couldn’t fix it for her. He could only help her see that it wasn’t her fault, that she didn’t deserve the pain she felt. He held onto her on their walk to the kitchen and he only let go of her once she was settled on a chair. 

He piled together all the ingredients he needed and got to work. Every now and then he would glance over his shoulder to where she sat, her eyes staring off into space and wrapped in her thoughts. He wasn’t sure if he could take this anymore, every time he saw her and the pain in her eyes, his heart broke all over again. The weeks following the incident, she had quieted down. She barely spoke to anyone, he was sure he hadn’t seen even a hint of a smile, and more often than not she had tears falling freely down her cheeks.

The smell of the spices Steve used filled the air and he couldn’t help the little smile that crossed his lips. This meal had never failed at putting a smile on someone's face, if he could even get a hint of a smile his mission would be accomplished for the night. Bare feet padded down the hallway outside the kitchen and Steve heard them and smiled. Bucky always could smell these spices from miles away. Even before the serum. 

Unfortunately, (y/n) didn’t hear him coming. When he poked his head in to say hi, he very nearly had a knife embedded in his good shoulder. He looked over to where she sat, he could hear her heart racing, realization setting in on what she had just done. Her eyes, now focused on the knife just inches away from where he was, flashed with fear. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” 

She whispered, afraid that he would hate her. For god sakes, she had almost killed him. He had every right to hate her. Bucky watched as her thoughts spiraled out of control, he knew all too well what that was like. He rushed over to where she sat and gently grabbed her chin forcing her to look at him. He muttered to her, told her again and again that it was okay. When her heart slowed back down, he broke away and took a seat next to her just as Steve set out some plates with his ma’s famous spaghetti. Something he knew (y/n) loved. 

She hesitantly grabbed the fork and twirled the pasta onto it. It was a small bite, but Steve cheered at the small victory of her eating it at all. The spices mingled on her tongue creating the most incredible flavors she had ever tasted. She closed her eyes and the corners of her lips turned upwards, it was so little that Steve and Bucky almost missed it. When they both saw it, they shared a look of joy. If something as little as a plate of food helped her forget the pain for a minute, they could work with that and help her through it all. 

“This is really good, Steve. Where’d you learn to make this?”

Steve paused. She had known that this was his ma’s recipe from that first day he made it. The day she has beaten his ass while they were sparring. Both him and Bucky stopped and the realization hit them like a truck. She didn’t remember. She didn’t remember because the memory was stolen from her by those HYDRA bastards. She immediately picked up on their change and hesitation and her shoulders slumped.

“I’m sorry. I’ve had this before haven’t I?”

Steve nodded slowly and he felt terrible. He should’ve known that she would’ve picked up on their hesitation.

“No need to apologize, doll.” 

Beside her, Bucky placed his hand on her knee and gave a reassuring squeeze. He watched for the second time that night as her destructive thoughts consumed her and tears brimmed her eyes. Bucky knew that if this was him he wouldn’t want them to dwell on the fact that he couldn’t remember something he should’ve. Instead he offered something to take her mind of it all. 

“Hey, I’m still way behind of watching that one show. What was it called again?”

“It’s Parks and Rec Buck, how far behind are you?” She gave a minute smile again and poked his side, another little win for the night amongst all the losses. 

“Too far for you to find acceptable. Wanna marathon it?” He poked her side back in retaliation and she rolled her eyes. 

“Yeah.” 

Bucky hopped of his chair and distracted her while Steve snuck up behind her and picked her up. When he got to the couch, He dropped her and plopped himself beside her and Bucky sat on the other side of her. They pinned her in between them and She laid her head on Steve’s chest. Bucky huffed and picked her feet up, placed them on his lap and grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and laid it over her. 

They both watched as her eyelids grew too heavy for her to keep open, and she slowly drifted off into sleep. Something she hadn’t done in at least a week. She wasn’t okay, god only knew if she ever would be fully recovered. But it was a small baby step towards her recovery. Each day would be a new trial, a new mountain for her to climb. But she was strong and they had no doubts that one day she would get to a place where she would be okay, she could smile and be herself again.


End file.
